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If we chose to leave our country and move abroad, dealing with distance is part of our daily life.

Everyday we face the sense of emptiness that being away from our loved ones leaves us with, while at at the same time we cherish the freedom and independence that distance allows us.

I’ve been living away from the country I was born in for over 30 years; all my adult life I have been apart from someone I love.

Physically apart.

As, with time and work, I have become aware that the distance is merely physical.

A few years ago, I faced the illness and consequent death of a dear friend.

An important and special friend, with whom I shared 30 years of my life.

His loss helped me to reflect on what we shared, despite living in opposite parts of the world and how distance had no impact on the love and affection we felt for each other.

Initially there were letters, then emails and finally regular chats in front of a screen.

Like all friendships, our was nourished by regular contacts and time spent meeting on different parts of the world.

From the moment he told me about his illness, I was sure I would be close to him and support him.

As usual, we would find a way.

In my years as an expat, I had to learn to share moments of happiness and sorrow from a distance.

To make this easier, I have learned the power of acceptance:

• accept that I am physically distant but always present in the lives of my loved ones
• accept that I have chosen to live abroad and love my life
• accept that feelings of affection can keep growing from a distance
• accept that some people are important and always will be part of my life, no matter where I am.

Of course, there are times when being far away is hard, not only emotionally but from a practical point of view as well.

Many of us are experiencing the plight of aging parents, needing constant care and attention.

At times like these living on the other side of the world, or even a few hours flight away, makes things even more difficult and the distance can become an unbearable burden.

How can we accept such difficult situation?

The most important thing, for me, has been to recognise that there is nothing I can do to change this: my parents are aging and I live on the other side of the world.

It is a fact and it is outside of my control.

But at the moment, they are both well and I can do my best to make my presence felt in their life.

This is in my control.

Since I have started to accept the distance, I feel paradoxically closer.

Goodbyes have become easier and I recognise myself in Rumi’s words:

Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.